Am I in Love?

How to Know if You're Really in Love

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person.

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Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why?

What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Teens struggle with this because they see lust in the Biblical sense, but lust isn't that sinister. Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction.

Love is about much more than that. Yet many teens (and to be fair, many adults) confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For teens, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.

Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds!

Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will.

Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?


There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If you agree with 7 of the following 9 statements you are probably in love.


You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.
The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.
If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.
Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.
When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).
Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision, and your decision alone.
Neither you or your partner feel the need to test the other's loyalties or feelings.
You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.
If sex is part of your relationship it is by mutual desire and agreement without the slightest hint of commitment testing or persuasion.

Need More Help?Take The "Am I in Love?" Quiz
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Analysis

"Falling in love" is a mainly Western term used to describe the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards someone to one of love. The usage of the term "fall" implies many things: that the process may have been in some way inevitable or uncontrollable, risky or putting the lover in a state of vulnerability, that the process is irreversible, or all of these things. The term is generally used to describe an (eventual) love that is strong, although not necessarily permanent.

Alberoni Theory
In his socio-psychological theory Francesco Alberoni states that falling in love is a process of the same nature as religious or political conversion.

People fall in love when they are ready to change, or to start a new life.
According to Alberoni, falling in love is a rapid process of destructuration-reorganization called the nascent state. In the nascent state, the individual becomes capable of merging with another person and creating a new collectivity with a very high degree of solidarity. Hence the definition: falling in love is the nascent state of a collective movement formed of two people only.

In order to understand if someone is truly in love, the individual must be put to truth tests and, in order to find out if he or she is loved in return, the beloved is also put to reciprocal tests. The incandescent process of the nascent state through these tests gives way to certainty and produces a stable love relationship. According to Alberoni, the phenomenology of falling in love is the same for young people and adults, for men and women and for homosexuals and heterosexuals: this is because the structure of the nascent state is always the same.

Unlike the theories consolidated by psychoanalysis, the sociologist does not consider falling in love as a regression, but instead sees it as launching oneself towards the future and change, and thus as fundamental to the formation of a couple in love.

See also
Limerence
Infatuation

References
Denis de Rougemont, Love in the Western World. Pantheon Books, 1956.
Francesco Alberoni, Falling in Love, New York, Random House, 1983
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falling_in_love"
Categories: Love

Elvis

THE BEST OF ELVIS VIDEOS

Ashley Mc Bride

I left him at the terminalAnd slowly walked away'Cause I don't think that I can standTo watch him board that planeGood bye shouldn't hurt so badBut in Memphis, TennesseeIt did while I watched him Walk away from me.(Chorus)And tonight I'll be alone in my bedThoughts of how I miss youRunning through my headTonight I'll be okay even though your not around'Cause it's the second night alone that breaks you down.When I unlock that door tonightKnowing you're not thereFor at least a couple hoursI'll act like I don't careI'll just turn on the radioAnd they'll probably play our songAnd I'll go on this eveningActing like there's nothing wrong.(Chorus)A couple more I love yous And one last good bye kissSo much about you that I love And so much I'm gonna miss(Chorus)Its tomorrow night alone that's gonna break me down.


I'm off at five and finally fed upI throw my cooler in the back of my truck and ICall the girls say I've had enough and I'm heading for the lineThey all know when I leave townThere's a pretty good chance I don't wanna be foundI grab a pack of Marlboro lights and make up for lost timeHeaded down a gravel roadJust two more miles to go.(Chorus)'Cause I need to be where the black top endsWith a thirty-pack of my best friendsIf anyone askes all they need to knowIs I'm somewhere between New York and Mexico.I'll make my bed when the sun goes downI can't go back to that make-believe townSleeping in the cab of my truckIt suits me just fineThere ain't too much I need right nowAs long as my supplies hold out.I ain't gotta punch no clock'Cause I'm on my own time.If my momma happens to callYou ain't heard from me at all.(Chorus 2 x)If anyone asks all they need to know is I'm somewhere between New YorkAnd Mexico.


http://www.myspace.com/ashleymcbryde

whyyyyyy ?

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dont give up the fight

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my baby wont talk to me

she looks good in a saree



dats not true
she looks better out of it